Thursday, February 7, 2013

Relationships with Egyptians - Part 2

I hope you guys are ready for part two, I sure am! I am sitting on my desk looking at the view from my balcony with Sahlab ready to pour out my heart to you. A little dramatic but oh well that's me! Before starting the series I gave it a lot of thought and decided to just write it. Now I find the dilemma of Where do I start? My relationship with Habibi has been so surprising in all aspects that I certainly do not know where to start.





When I first got here I was excited and waiting to discover this new step in our relationship but I was so excited about this new place all this history, culture and of course my passion the food! All my family is in to food, and surprisingly enough all of us cook. We cook good not bad at all so when we gather together is for a very delicious meal prepare by a few of us. I know my way around a kitchen I studied some months in Culinary and well  I have been cooking since I was thirteen years old.

Of course I was delighted to show my Habibi my cooking skills! The first weeks we ate at his parents because we didn't have the kitchen yet. I started discovering the Egyptian meals, liking some hating others and started to miss Latin food. The flavors were not the same. All this time Habibi was like 'think you can top that?' to what I answered 'Of course!' I felt insulted every time that he implied that maybe I was not going to be able to cook! Well my chance finally came and I went to do some shopping for food with Habibi and well... it was very educational to say the least.

None of the things I used back home were available here and if they were, it didn't taste the same! My cooking was dead! Nothing was good and to be honest I was so frustrated with myself I got defensive. My Habibi blessed his heart ate everything and he did make remarks but was always very nice about it. When I called home my friends and family were shocked and they couldn't believe it. My brother even talked to Habibi and said she is such a great cook are we talking about the same person? Ha! I was glad I didn't make anything in my head about the cooking at least my friends and family knew I could cook but that the person who I was sharing my life with didn't like my food was laughable to say the least.

After that I just tried to make everything better, I use to joke that I left my culinary skills in Frankfurt when I stopped there on my way to Egypt. My cooking is not bad but to a person that has been use to a style of cooking for more than thirty years and now is tasting things that are totally different...well of course he is not going to like it! His mom is a great cook but here is what I didn't understand, we had different palates! I like sweet things and my Habibi is picky with his food, no onions, garlic, no rice and the list goes on.

Things like this that you may never think can be a problem had me loosing my mind, making me insecure and ready to crack. I never thought that my Habibi and I were going to be different in food too! We agree on somethings but not all of them. We have learned with time to compromise and he likes my food now. I had to re-conciliate myself with the kitchen try new ingredients different flavors and instead of getting frustrated I tried to enjoy the kitchen again.

For success in a relationship that has two people with different taste buds, experiences and baggage we need to be able to stop being defensive and try as it might to be reasonable. You love this person and sure maybe he is wrong but maybe he is not! Listen carefully and try to embrace the culture do not impose things. Imposing causes more trouble. The goal is not to see what culture is the best! Is about merging. About coming together and making two cultures that are totally different merge and enjoy the differences and even laugh about it.

Now we enjoy dinner and to be honest we even love doing things together! Habibi cooked for me which by the way surprise his mom to no end hahah. The doctor has some tricks up his sleeve. Even surprise me. I was more than shocked and well he even made cupcakes! Gotta love him!

I had to change too. Starting with the milk, the cereal and the bread. Simple things. Things you do in your everyday life and it never crossed my mind that I would miss them or that at some point I was going to be like a little girl making a tantrum cause I want fresh milk! Hahaha So be open to changes and do not be a sissy! Life is full of challenges and some changes even if they are difficult. Be patient with your partner and try  to understand each other.

Thank you for reading and following me! See you on the next post, if you have a questions please feel to write at: caribbeangirlincairo@gmail.com





Relationships with Egyptians - Part 2

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